Comments on: My Parenting Rule to Foster Independence (& Save My Sanity)

By: Jennifer Anderson

Jennifer Anderson — Fri, 03 Apr 2020 04:03:00 +0000

In reply to Rachel. And how do we transition into them noticing that something needs doing even if it’s not their turn or not listed on the chart? It’s such a heart issue and my kids have lost this ability in the teen years.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 31 Oct 2019 14:35:21 +0000

How do you monitor that they’ve done what you ask? Mine are independent as well (I have 5) and they do the basics on their own without my help (preparing snacks, cleaning up after themselves, making bed, etc.) but when I want more done, like cleaning a bathroom, I’m wondering if there’s a “system” to get that done without me having to notice it and then ask someone to do it.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 28 Oct 2019 04:26:12 +0000

This is spot on. I have nearly two-year-olds twins and out of necessity they have been taught to do lots of things for themselves. Children are so capable if just given the chance.

By: Jennifer Pinsonneault

Jennifer Pinsonneault — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 15:44:50 +0000

This advice is so spot on! My kids are all grown now and live on their own but I always encouraged them to do for themselves – like ordering at a restaurant- they decided what they wanted to eat and told the waiter/waitress themselves. Or buying something at a store – they took their item to the cash, gave their money and received the change. Years later after a move, my teen-aged daughter was shocked when out with friends who could not buy a pack of gum themselves as they were too shy or anxious to go up to the counter themselves! How would they handle going off to college if they cannot do simple things like this! My children are all fiercely independent and have been living in their own since they went off to post secondary. They are healthy, happy, contributing adults and I couldn’t be prouder. I have done my job, which as you stated Katie, is to raise adults. It is so worth it to let go and teach them early to be independent and self-sufficient. Thanks for always providing such good, common-sense advice.

By: Lea

Lea — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 15:24:20 +0000

One perspective that has helped me also is to remember that my child can be doing tasks imperfectly, or, making a mess. Or ruining their brain with too much screen time babysitting etc. so if I had to choose, I’d rather them be developing their brain and character trying to do things less than perfect!

By: Traci

Traci — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 05:31:14 +0000

Just 2 nights ago I layed down with my 9 year old at bedtime. It was chilly but was surprised he didn’t pull the covers over himself. Then I heard an irritated sigh and he said “Can you please put the covers on me I’m cold.” ??
I’ve spoiled my son so much that he waits for me to put the blankets on him like a King waiting for his maid. Lol
I decided that night that things are obviously out of control.
Amazing to come across this article right now. I see myself all over it. So thankful to have some practical steps.
Thanks so much for all the info and links!

By: Lisa T

Lisa T — Sun, 27 Oct 2019 01:50:09 +0000

This is so helpful. As a mom of 3, ranging in ages from 1-5, I’m quickly realizing I need to take a big step back and let them do more for themselves..against all my natural instincts of wanting it done quickly and correctly 🙂
Stumbling upon you and your podcast has been such a HUGE help for me. You are amazing, and all your hard work and hours spent researching the important issues we moms face, is so appreciated. Keep doing you, girl!

By: Marissa

Marissa — Sat, 26 Oct 2019 16:07:08 +0000

This gives me anxiety because I to am that mom that would rather do it myself for the sake of it being done right!! Thanks for the tips… I definitely need to let go and have my 6 year old help me with some of these tasks.