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Hello, and welcome to The Wellness Mama Podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com, and I’m so grateful you’re here. This episode is all about how to increase your emotional intelligence and improve your life. And I’m here with Dr. Olga, who does this work with a unique and powerful methodology that basically helps her transform unconscious programs, which are caused by stressful life events and trauma, including generational trauma and genetic trauma, as well as epigenetic inheritance. And these things can influence how we see ourselves and others in the world. And she transforms these in a very, very unique way, which she talks about today. But neuroscience has shown that 95% of our life experiences are shaped by unconscious programs. And I know that resolving some of my own trauma had a drastic difference, even in my physical health. So I’m excited to explore this topic further, and let’s join Dr. Olga. Dr. Olga, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
Dr. Olga: It’s so nice to be at your podcast.
Katie: Well, I got to meet you in person at a conference last year, and I knew I wanted to share you on the podcast and have a more in-depth conversation with you. And we’re actually going to get to record two episodes. So this is the first one. You guys stay tuned for the second one that will air after this one. And in this one, I know you have a million areas of expertise, so it’s hard to pick just two. But in this episode, I’m really excited to learn from you on how to increase emotional intelligence and how this can improve so many areas of our life. So to start off broad, I would guess hopefully people have heard that term, but can you define for us what emotional intelligence is?
Dr. Olga: Emotional intelligence defined as the ability to perceive, understand, and manage your own emotions. As well to recognize and influence emotions of people who are around you.
Katie: That makes sense. And I know there’s some specific strategies related to this, but why is emotional intelligence so important? And why is it maybe so overlooked in the modern world?
Dr. Olga: Emotional intelligence is so important in people’s life because I would like to show some of my perspectives of what I saw working with my clients over 20 years of my work. My theory is that in order to have high or high Emotional Intelligence you need to feel. And it’s what emotions are registers and autonomic nervous system. And that’s why you need to feel in order to have emotional intelligence. And, in this case, some people cannot feel. Or can feel hard time, and some people feel too much. Like empaths. For people who have high emotional intelligence, it’s amazing what abilities they have and how it can improve their lives.
As an example, people with high emotional intelligence, they can be so perceptive that the word is insightful. And also connect on a deeper level with people and even with their paths. And also, high emotional intelligence allows them to just to perceive the world in a more richer and more full way. And some people might ask, how so? Because people don’t understand it till they experience. Some of my clients describe the world and their experience, like perceptions. Their senses become more richer, even more spectrum of color. More enriched sounds, even more kind of a three- or four-dimensional experience. Because some people have more flat experience. As an example, I had a client and his emotional intelligence improved dramatically after working on the unconscious programs that created some issues. And instead of kind of a flat full moon, now he sees it as if it’s a globe.
And also there are other areas of our lives when you can experience benefits of having high emotional intelligence. As more people are more efficient and they’re better in communication because they can observe people’s emotions and reactions and adapt according to that. And that’s why they are very good even in conflict resolution.
Katie: Yeah, that makes sense of the benefits of it. And I would guess you mentioned empaths. Are there downsides or issues that can come up when someone has really, really high emotional intelligence?
Dr. Olga: Actually, interestingly enough, there is. People who are empaths they have very high emotional intelligence, it calls EQ, and also very high intuitive abilities, intuition. And because of that, like how I understand it is my perspective, it’s they are very sensitive. How they perceive the world around them and people is kind of more heightened senses. Kind of vigilant. In this case, they can truly feel somatically other people’s emotions and feelings, and it can become too much for them. And my clients who I impart reported that they can become overwhelmed easily and very tired being around other people. Actually, I remember I had a client who described to me, she’s a very high empath, that she was hiding during conferences in her room or in the lobby of the hotel or in a bathroom to avoid being in a big group of people for a long period of time. Does make sense?
Katie: That does make sense. And I would guess some people listening have maybe experienced that. And at the other end of the spectrum, it can seemingly be a problem, maybe more of a big problem for people who have very low or no emotional intelligence. What happens when someone doesn’t have a good level of emotional intelligence?
Dr. Olga: Actually, again, it’s my theory because these people cannot feel much emotionally and even sometimes physically. Some of my clients describe during our sessions that there is a feeling of not feeling. And they describe it as a kind of shutdown feeling or numb or they experience a sense of emptiness all over their body or in some parts, for example, in their heart or in their head or in their gut or in all of these places. And in this case these people kind of, they have thick skin. They’re not sensitive. And often they cannot be empathetic or compassionate or what’s going on. And I had some clients who experienced that and their spouses, they were sometimes thought, because of the perceivance, their spouse is insensitive. And it’s because not they wanted to be insensitive. They just could not feel.
And it’s interesting what they realized. On one hand, when people cannot feel, it’s an unconscious strategy. There are strategies of the unconscious mind to protect them this way. Kind of almost like creating anesthesia. Like what your brain can do, feeling numb, in order to survive. It’s what I experienced during my sessions. That some information from the unconscious mind of people who experienced that, it was to do it in order to survive. The ancestors experienced such a trauma, such emotional and physical pain, that it was only one way to shut down and numb themselves.
And on the other hand, people are too sensitive. It’s a very good unconscious strategy to survive. In order to survive, you need to become vigilant for everything that’s going on. Sounds, what you see, smells. Isn’t it interesting? Two opposite strategies. And for people who cannot feel and have low EQ, there can be many problems. These people cannot really connect even with themselves and people around them. And also, even pets. And it can create problems in their relationships. And relationships are everywhere. The personal relationships with your family members and your friends and also work-related. And it can create problems even at their work when they have low EQ.
Katie: That’s so fascinating. And I know the next question that seems logical is, how can we nurture and create and build space for higher emotional intelligence? And I know this is one of the many types of work that you do with people, but what are some of the ways we can begin to grow our emotional intelligence?
Dr. Olga: There are some ways, and I know there are people who help to increase emotional intelligence, for example, psychologists, and they’re doing a very good job doing that. And again, I have my own perspective on this topic. My opinion and I believe in order to create a permanent and fast result, you need to work on the unconscious level because this problem is created on the unconscious level. And you need to transform unconscious programs that created this problem. And unconscious programs are formed as a result of trauma and stressful life events and including trauma that passed genetically as a transgenerational epigenetic inheritance.
And with the methodology I created, it’s possible to resolve even genetic trauma. And you need to identify these unconscious programs created by trauma and transform these programs. And in this case, people do not need to do anything. It’s just when issues are gone, people will have higher emotional intelligence even without trying. Also, what you can do, it will help if you will be around animals and plants. And pets do have and, animals, high emotional intelligence. And I’m not sure if you are familiar with mirror neurons. Are you familiar with this topic?
Katie: A little bit but I would love for you to explain it more in depth.
Dr. Olga: And we won’t have time to talk about this in depth because we have only 30 minutes for emotional intelligence topic. But briefly, there are neurons in brain and they call mirror neurons. And they got fired when people observe somebody’s moving and also expressing emotions. And that’s why these mirror neurons can be fired for people being around animals and pets. And especially if you are looking in pets’ eyes. Did you notice that dogs are often looking into owners’ eyes or people’s eyes? Did you notice that?
Katie: I’ve noticed that with my dogs, yeah, and babies, too.
Dr. Olga: Oh yes, and people who can look straight into eyes. And that’s why it will be important to be, not just once, to be around pets. And what I notice, people who own pets, they can develop higher emotional intelligence. And also, there is another way. It’s to be around people who have high emotional intelligence and also who express kindness and compassion. And in this case, in presence of these people, and of course not just once, people can develop more high emotional intelligence. Even if you are in presence of such people, even for one or two minutes, when people exclude kindness, it can create a very big difference.
And I researched on this topic a long time ago because it’s a fascinating topic for me. And some, some psychologists, they suggest in order to get higher EQ, you need to learn body language. You need to have a good observation and have a meaning. Learn what does it mean. And only my point is Katie that doing that, it will be much better than doing nothing. At least it will be like cognitive understanding the reactions of people. Only I came up with my term. I call it artificial emotional intelligence. Because, for example, you can teach a robot how to recognize body language, facial expression. And does it mean that robot will have a higher EQ? Of course not, right? And the same for people. In order to really have higher EQ, you need to feel, use your nervous system. Does it make sense?
Katie: That does make sense. And I feel like the nervous system is an important topic that comes up a lot on this podcast. And I’m glad we’re becoming more aware of how much that impacts us. And you’ve mentioned the unconscious patterns and the unconscious level a lot. And I would love to expound on this a little bit because I know just from my own anecdotal experience that I had some unconscious programs that were running based on trauma. And then it wasn’t until I addressed those that I was able even to physically heal. And I was kind of awestruck at how much of a difference those things can make. And we’re not even aware of them sometimes. So how can we even become aware of our unconscious programs? And what do we do about them?
Dr. Olga: What an amazing question, Katie. People, what you are describing, who have some limiting unconscious patterns, it can create many issues in their lives. As in the movie, have you watched the movie Groundhog Day with Bill Murray?
Katie: A long time ago.
Dr. Olga: And it’s such a wonderful movie to show patterns. And some people are stuck in these patterns and their life is limited. Unconscious programs, they actually influence how people perceive themselves. And people around them and the world. And it’s very important, even perception of self, because some people have such a perception of themselves, it creates low self-esteem, low self-worth, and low self-love. And in this case, these people can have stress every day and multiple times per day. That can lead even to some health conditions. And also, unconscious programs create these unconscious patterns. And also they create, they create even how people look. Because they create neuromuscular looks and can affect your face, facial expressions, posture. They create how people think. Like patterns of thinking, either clear patterns or not, how they express themselves verbally and non-verbally, how they feel, how they react, how they behave. And in order to change it, you need to work on the unconscious level. And that’s why it can become effortless. When changes are made, people don’t need to do anything or think about that or try to change themselves because change will be on the unconscious level. Did I answer your question or not?
Katie: You did. And I’ve experienced that where I tried talk therapy first, and my conscious mind was very good at keeping those things safe and not having to go into them. And it wasn’t until I tried to learn and start getting through to the unconscious patterns that things started to shift. And like you said, it wasn’t hard work at that point. It was actually a natural effortless shift once I realized and kind of got to that level, but it was an elusive process for me. And I think it can be maybe for a lot of people. So I’m curious, especially like in my case with a big trauma where my conscious mind wanted to protect me, how can we even access that unconscious side?
Dr. Olga: It’s, some people, they did and they do some amazing work working with the unconscious mind. And one of them, he was Dr. Milton Erickson. He was a psychiatrist. He’s not alive, unfortunately, anymore. And he used clinical hypnosis, trans work, working with the unconscious mind. What I created is different. I do not use hypnosis. I, and how to identify these unconscious patterns and programs? What I do, I observe face, posture, I’m looking for neuromuscular locks. And also listen to the quality of voice of people. And I ask people to do kind of a mechanical drawings, thinking about the issue. And in everything what I observed and, in these drawings, there will be a lot of unconscious information.
And I identify by asking questions, of course, what unconscious patterns and programs created that issue, what a person has. And some issues only one program causes and working on one program will pretty much resolve this issue. And some issues are multi-causal, more than one unconscious program causes them. And I identify what unconscious program to work on, and I created a process, the process to guide people through. And during this process, most of work, your unconscious mind will be doing. Your unconscious mind even will identify all memories that created this program and these issues, including, can be genetic memories, and or womb memories, and or childhood memories.
And after, there are like multi-step processes in order to resolve trauma in all of these root cause memories. And at the end of this process, pretty much this unconscious program will be transformed, and whatever this program creates will be transformed. And this work is effortless for people because they don’t need to do anything after doing this work. And they don’t need to think how to react, how to behave, because, as I told, it’s coming from the unconscious level. And when this work is done, pretty much, that’s it. The results are permanent. They are very fast, sometimes instant, and sometimes it takes time up to several days to integrate. And, as I told, effortless. And people do not need to recall these memories that created it and relieve them and feel that emotional and physical pain that the ancestors saw them experience in these memories.
Katie: Yeah, that was so fascinating to me when I first talked to you, that you were able to use cues from a person’s body and knowing a little bit of what I know about the somatic aspect and how a lot of our communication is actually body up versus brain down. But we tend to think of everything as originating in the mind. So I love that you take those cues and let people access their unconscious level in a way that actually resolves it. Because I know probably many people listening had the same experience I did, where talk therapy, if you have trauma, sometimes can keep you stuck in it or be not as helpful in processing it, whereas this is going to the root and to the source. And I love that you talk about not even having to really understand it or dissect it or even remember it, but just being able to release it. And I can only imagine how transformative that is. I would guess people listening still have a lot of questions, and we’re going to get to do another episode to answer some of those. But where can people find you online if they want to learn more about your method? Or the work that you do?
Dr. Olga: My website is drolga.com and it’s just an abbreviation, D-R Olga, O-L-G-A dot com. And I would like to add briefly something. Some work, like some psychologists recall some repressed memories from early childhood. What I notice that a lot of trauma that created this issue can be genetic most of the time. That’s why your parents were that way, treated you that way, because their parents did. And even before, great-grandparents. And why it works so fast, what I do. Because your unconscious mind will be working on all groups of memories that created this issue without recalling them. That’s why people don’t experience any pain.
Katie: That’s so fascinating. And I know I’ve talked a little about the genetic inherited memories before. And I had Mark Wolin on who wrote a whole book called It Didn’t Start with You, which delves into that concept. And I feel like that’s maybe a new idea for a lot of people. But like you said, it can profoundly impact them, and it can also be resolved. So I will make sure that your website is linked in the show notes as well as I believe you’re on social media and people can follow you there. And I would encourage people to tune into our next episode as well, where we get to talk about resilience and more about these unconscious patterns and how you release them. But for today, thank you so much for your time and for all that you’ve shared.
Dr. Olga: Thank you so much, Katie.
Katie: And thank you for listening and sharing your time with us today. We’re so grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of the Wellness Mama podcast.
If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.
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