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Child: Welcome to my Mommy’s podcast.
Hello and welcome to The Wellness Mama Podcast. I’m Katie from wellnessmama.com and I’m so happy you’re here with me today. This episode is about how to become more resilient and how to deal with our emotional and unconscious programming that we may have inherited or been with us since we were very young. And this is important because neuroscience has shown that 95% of our life experiences can be shaped by our unconscious programs. And Dr. Olga Stevko, who is an MD out of Russia, has created a really unique method to addressing these unconscious programming, including things inherited from our parents or our ancestors. And these are things that can influence how we see ourselves and others in the world. And they can also affect our nervous system and impact both our mind and our body. And so she transforms these unconscious programs with a very unique method that produces fast, permanent, and life-changing results. So let’s join Dr. Olga and learn how to be more resilient. Dr. Olga, welcome back. Thanks for being here again.
Dr. Olga: Thank you. It’s so nice to be here.
Katie: Well, in our first episode, which I will link in the show notes if you’re listening on the go, we got to talk about emotional intelligence and unconscious patterns. And I’m really excited to build on that conversation today in something that is complementary to that, which is the topic of resilience. And so to start off for some foundational understanding, can you explain what resilience is and why it’s important to be resilient?
Dr. Olga: Resilience is an ability to recover from or adjust easily to stressful life events, tragedy and also any kind of trauma and change. And why is it important to have resilience? It’s important for mental health and also well-being and success.
Katie: And I would guess there are maybe many things in modern life that can sort of reduce our resilience or at least be a challenge to our resilience. I know it’s often talked about how we face a lot more things both mentally and even physically in today’s world. But what are some of the things that can impact our resilience?
Dr. Olga: Certain things can lower our resilience. One of them is If whatever is going on is severe, severe trauma or truly stressful life events, or even a loss of somebody you love, or even sometimes Katie, unfortunately, language of some doctors is not so, how to even say it, not so good and thoughtful, how they give you a diagnosis. Because some people even don’t understand medical terms and they’re so scared it creates trauma for them. And that affect all what I mentioned, and also the lens of all of that, it’s going on for a long time, it can really lower people’s resilience. And also some people, some of my clients experienced like, one traumatic or stressful things was happening after another one, after another one, just several in a row. And it can lower resilience too.
Katie: That makes sense. And I’m glad you brought up language because that’s one thing I noticed. And there might be, you might have a lot more context on this, but I noticed that when I paid attention to and changed my inner language, the expression of it, even in my body changed. So when I used to have internal things, I said to myself, like that I was sick or I had Hashimoto’s, it was like my biology responded to that. And when I shifted that to even just simply say, I’m healing every day, I am getting better. It was like my physiology caught up. And I think you’re right, when people are given a diagnosis, maybe it becomes part of their identity. And so I tried to shift from taking on that thing to just thinking of this is a word that a doctor has presented that he’s trying to give me. And I can choose to accept that word or not. Maybe I can use it as information to help me get better, but I don’t have to become that identity. But can you speak more about our language? And how that can affect our resilience?
Dr. Olga: You are absolutely right, Katie, that language is extremely important, especially how you internally are talking to yourself and talking to people around you, especially children. Because some, how you create phrases, certain way can be very unpleasant, even traumatic for people. And they can experience mentally, emotionally, and even somatically, physically as a result, as consequences.
And also it’s your perspective. Your perspective, when you change your perspective, how you look at things, and also your language, it will change how you feel, how you react. It can create a big impact in your life. And even there is a method in neurolinguistic programming, it calls reframing. It’s finding a different meaning, kind of put a different frame on what’s going on. And by doing that, you can even help somebody around to feel better. Because some people, they are kind of naturally, even without knowing that, they can reframe, make somebody feel better. And some people study how to do it. It’s so important to watch what you are saying and how you are saying. And even people can take some courses in order to learn how to do it. And it’s the most important, as I mentioned, even for doctors to use certain language. Because language can really hurt someone, and it can heal. Because, Katie, the placebo effect is part of that is language. That creates a response in your nervous system, kind of expectation to heal.
Katie: Yeah, that’s such an important point. And I think that internal language and how we see ourselves really does become profound in how we actually exhibit in the world and how our body responds. I know years ago, I read that book, The Body Keeps the Score, and it explained how these things can physically affect us so, so much. I would love to talk a little bit about how to become more resilient or maybe some common traits of people who have cultivated a lot of resilience.
Dr. Olga: Yes, actually what traits people have and how to become resilient, some are kind of related, connected. People who have like higher resilience, they often have high emotional intelligence. And also they learn from their mistakes. Actually, Katie, have you ever experienced some people around you who never learned from their mistakes? They were repeating again and again their mistakes. Have you?
Katie: Absolutely. And I’ve done that too in the past.
Dr. Olga: And actually I Iike to learn from my own mistakes and I love to learn from other people’s mistakes. It’s very helpful for me. And if you do not learn, you are going to repeat the same patterns as I mentioned, like on a Groundhog Day movie. And also, other traits it’s people who are resilient they have optimism. They are more optimistic, they see brighter side of whatever is happening. And also, they try to find a positive intention, the reason why something is happening.
And they even often have a sense of humor. It’s actually how you look at things. If you look with humor, it’s easier to go through some tough times. And also, they have perseverance and commitment. They’re not waiting for somebody to resolve their issue or problem or difficulties. They take action and they’re committed to resolve whatever is going on. And also, they are very adaptable to change. I know some people do not like change. They fear change. And change will be no matter what. And resilient people, they adapt to change no matter what it is. And, and you asked me also, and also, I remember, they have an ability to focus and think clear during some stressful situations, people who have resilience.
And how to, how to improve your resilience is, it’s actually to have sense of humor. And to look at things differently, having this sense of humor. And also, to actually, there is one way everybody can do it. When you are stressed or going through difficult times, what can you do? Like it can work so fast, Katie, because you can use all of your senses. Visual what you see, auditorium what you hear, kinesthetic what you feel, and also olfactory and gustatory. And it won’t take much time. Even two minutes will be enough to feel different. Of course, if you have 10 or 15 minutes, even it’s better. You can find some very relaxing movie on YouTube. Not a movie, it’s what people are, it can be a short movie for nature. It can be under the water serial. Or it can be any kind of nature, whatever you like. It can be butterflies flying in the garden, or woods, or waterfalls with short and relaxing music. In this case, you will see and hear at the same time you can drink your favorite tea that has nice flavor. It will be for gustatory to taste it, and also for nice smell. If it’s, for example, jasmine tea, you will smell jasmine. And even some people like to use a cozy blanket to feel it. In this case, when you experience a relaxation in all of the senses, you can get more calm, and relax very fast.
And also you can, you can look at what’s going on, kind of using more bigger picture. When people are going through difficulties or stressful events, they can experience what’s going on kind of on a more narrow, focused, limited way, and they don’t see a bigger picture of what’s possible. And you can kind of imagine stepping out, becoming as a witness, observer of yourself in that situation. And after you can imagine even yourself, for example, as an eagle flying above the situation, looking at yourself and what’s possible to do in this situation, kind of to create a bigger picture.
Even what you can do when you’re going through difficult times, even to watch a funny movie. Like a comedy movie, even to listen or watch a comedian, because laughter can shift how you feel at that moment. And what is very, very important, it’s to actually ask for support. For many people, it’s hard to ask for help. In this situation, difficult situations, you have to ask for support and to be around supportive people and to be connected to deeper people, especially with people with high emotional intelligence or show kindness and compassion. Because kindness and compassion can absolutely heal you. It’s what I believe.
And it’s interesting, for resilient people when they go through hard times, it can shift certain things about themselves. For example, they discover some abilities they even did not know they had before in order to go through that situation. Also, they become more clear about their relationships. Maybe you experience it too. Because some people they had in their lives, they realize these people are actually toxic. And a kind of energetic vampires only take their energy but never give. And in this case, they decide to let go of these people. And to be around and to invite to their lives only people who are, it’s a reciprocity, who are given to. And also, they realize about their priority. About what was important before. It’s not important after that event. Like what’s important and your priority changes after certain trauma and after certain even what do you call it, trauma and misfortune. Because even identifying priorities and what’s important can shift how your life.
Katie: I like that. And I’ve noticed a little bit of what you’re talking about in my own life with the nature element and the days I get morning sunlight and go outside right away, I feel more calm and less overwhelmed in my day. And that’s something now I often say on here is just getting that morning sunlight can be so helpful. That morning outside nature time can be so grounding and helpful for your day.
And I love that you also mentioned the observer effect, because this is something I’ve incorporated in small ways. For instance, if I’m an athlete now, and if I’m getting body work to help with my muscle tightness, and it’s really uncomfortable, instead of identifying with my body and being in my body, I will kind of try to shift into observer mode and just observe like, oh, the body is being pushed on, the body is experiencing discomfort, but removing myself a little bit makes a huge difference. And I know you work with many people one-on-one about this. I would love if you could share some examples that you’ve seen with people you’ve worked with for building resilience, and maybe even to circle back to our initial conversation for emotional intelligence as well.
Dr. Olga: Thank you, Katie. And first of all, before we talk about that, what you said can be profound in people’s lives to have better resilience, taking care of yourself, even getting enough sleep, getting more healthy food, walks, getting sun. And some people don’t realize, even if you take a few minutes, several times per day just to kind of to be present, to sit down and to relax or even dance for two minutes. Turn on your favorite music and dance. It can truly shift how you feel.
And let’s talk about some of my clients. I will give you one of the examples for resilience. I had a client and unfortunately within short period of time, she lost all members of her family. It was so horrible. And she had anxiety because she was alone. And she had fear of abandonment issue. And also she could not sleep much. And after working on the unconscious programs that created this issue, and it happened so fast for her, even after one session she experienced a dramatic result. Pretty much all of these issues were gone. And she became very, very resilient and started to enjoy her life again. And before she could not enjoy her life, she was at that state like a kind of reliving trauma. And I think many people will resonate with that because all of us, we lost somebody we loved in the past or in the present, and we are going to lose, and even pets, for example, or people, or things we love. And it’s very important to be resilient and bounce back to where you were before. And actually, some people, it’s not about bouncing back. For some people, it’s hard to completely bounce back. Some people will find a different new path in their lives to deal with these painful situations.
And I would like to mention also for emotional intelligence, I had a client, actually a small girl, and she was at that time something like two and a half, between two and a half and three years old. And due to her health issue, she had a very slow development, mental and physical, and unfortunately, that girl could not walk. She could not truly focus and pay attention. Kind of when first time I saw her, she was completely dissociated from her body, kind of was out of there. And could not truly express on her face any, for example, joy or laughter.
And interestingly enough, you can do work with even small children, working with one parent or both parents as a proxy. And I worked with her mother. Her mother imagined becoming her daughter. And we did pretty much everything what I do for my adult clients. And her daughter was in that room. And in this case, a child can even sleep because her unconscious mind is receiving or play or watch a movie. Still her unconscious mind is receiving what’s going on. And working with her mother doing this work, the results were astonishing even for me. I didn’t expect such like dramatic result in such like short period of time. That girl changed so much. She became associated in her body. She could focus. She became curious. She paid attention. She started to smile and laugh often. She started not only like walk, even she was dancing. And like very curious and pointing and present and focused. And it’s remarkable what happened. And what I believe, her emotional intelligence increased. She started to express emotions. And as a result, her expression of face, her body language changed a lot. Her sounds changed a lot. And doing it, my example, so it’s enough.
Katie: That’s so fascinating. And I know you work one-on-one with people to accomplish these things. I’ll put your website in the show notes. But for people who want to learn more about this, where can they find you and learn more?
Dr. Olga: There is more information and a lot of videos of people who experience life-changing results on my website, drolga.com. It’s an abbreviation D-R-O-L-G-A.com. And it’s possible to do this work not only one-on-one, in small groups up to six people, and people have the same results. And I do separately groups for women and for men because somehow people are more open and feel more safe when they are only in women’s group or only in men’s group.
Katie: Wonderful. Well, I will include that link in the show notes. And Dr. Olga, it’s so fun to get to chat with you again after we met in person last year. Thank you so much for the time and for all the work that you do to help people with all the things we talked about.
Dr. Olga: Thank you so much, Katie. It was such a pleasure to be on your podcast.
Katie: And thank you as always for listening and sharing your most valuable resources, your time, your energy, and your attention with us today. We’re both so grateful that you did. And I hope that you will join me again on the next episode of The Wellness Mama podcast.
If you’re enjoying these interviews, would you please take two minutes to leave a rating or review on iTunes for me? Doing this helps more people to find the podcast, which means even more moms and families could benefit from the information. I really appreciate your time, and thanks as always for listening.
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